Every Friday on WGEM SportsCenter I toss out a new Top Ten.
TOP TEN Actual Problems With The St. Louis Cardinals…
10) Too many infected neck tattoos.
9) Fans have been sneaking in Miller Lite and the Busch Stadium mojo has disappeared.
8) The video room’s been broke and players are looking over scouting reports with drawings from John Mabry’s kids.
7) Lance Lynn has lost all his power just eating kale and other nasty vegetables instead of Big Macs and Budweiser.
6) Too many late Nights in Old San Juan with Carlos Beltran.
5) Charlie’s cousin, Joe Kelly, keeps bringing his cat into the locker room and it’s not wearing Kitten Mittens. Nobody can concentrate.
4) Rouge Busch Stadium workers have been flashing laser pointers in the eyes of hitters.
3) Mike Matheny has been watching Tom Selleck’s 1992 classic Mr. Baseball for advice.
2) Who’s used to playing August baseball in 80-degrees?
1) Not enough ‘roids.